Dating Tales of a Church Girl: Why Are All the Broke Men In Church?

D. Kimberly

Okay. I know some of ya’ll have been waiting a long time for another dating tale so here it comes. But first, may I preface it with a question posed by another writer?

Why is it that men in church seem to be “in between blessings” financially – translation broke, busted and confused?

Please feel free to answer that in the comment section below. 
Ahem. Let us begin.
As I approach 30, I learn the art of compromise when it comes to the attributes I have on my “Boaz” list which is placed carefully in my bible mid-way between the Books of Ruth and Song of Solomon. However, I recently reinstated my 5’9 height requirement. I met a god-fearing brother once. He asked me on a date. I immediately noticed that he couldn’t be taller than 5’3″. I should know given the fact that I’m 5’1″. But he had an amazingly humorous and sarcastic personality. So, I thought that if for nothing else but an entertaining dinner, I’d go out! Entertaining it would be…
He proudly popped out of his Jetta in front of TGI Friday’s and swiftly opened the door for me – a gentleman. I knew that he was a “minister-in-training” – ps. I didn’t know they had those – and was interested in how he was preparing for his first big sermon.
“You look lovely.”
“Thank you,” I quickly start racking my brain to find a topic of conversation.
“I’m glad you asked me out to dinner especially since Im in between blessings.”
Pause. I asked HIM? Double pause. Did he just announce that he was broke?
I went on talking like I was hard of hearing. I hoped I’d just misinterpreted what he was saying. I gave him a once over trying to imagine the possibility of procreating with such a petite little man. I gagged at the thought. He noticed and grabbed my hand suddenly shouting , “Satan, I command thee in the name of the only begotten Savior to lose from this atmosphere…”
Girl, I could have crawled under the table. When he succeeded in having everyone stare at us, he opened his eyes, looked around and said “Well the gawked at Jesus and his disciples. Glad to be in the number.” Then, he proceeded to shove his face with New York Strip Steak. When he excused himself to go to the bathroom, I noticed a quote etched in his pants:

“Enlarge my territory”

Done. Dead. I hollered so loud laughing that he turned around from his journey to the bathroom to ask if I needed prayer.
Then the check came upon his return. He was smooth. He fumbled through his wallet BEFORE looking at the bill. When his eyes scanned the amount, he shook his head and with reverend vibrato he said, “Mmmmm the devil is a liar.” Then, he asked if I’d like to donate towards our “breaking bread fellowship.” Oh, so when the bill comes we are fellowshipping?
Ya’ll pray my strength because these men outchere! Again I ask, are men in church financially unstable? Your thoughts?

Until Next Time…

Miss Aleck

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